What Do The Mets Do With An Unexpected Day Off?

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Sometimes mother nature gives you an unexpected break.  I’m sure the Mets bullpen is pretty thankful right now, including Bobby Parnell.

I imagine there are those that believe it would be more beneficial if Bobby got right back on the horse as soon as possible.  My train of thought is he needs to get his mind off things right now. Relax the old noggin.

Maybe go catch a flick. I would recommend that he sees Hop.  If watching a movie about a bunny that can shit jelly beans can’t take your mind off of your troubles, nothing can.

Now that I am finished sharing some sage advice, I can get to the real reason why I started this post.  Have you ever wondered what people in baseball do with an unexpected off day?

Here are some thoughts:

THE PLAYERS

This one is easy.  Read any posts on Midwestropolitan they may have missed due to lame batting practice or dealing with the media.

THE COACHES

Another obvious answer here.  Terry Collins can now use “playing the game the right way” at home instead of at the ballpark for a change.

I can see it now.  He’s playing an intense game of Scrabble with Mrs. Collins and busts out a triple word score and screams, “Now that’s playing the game the right way!!  Boo-ya!!” .  Was using “Boo-Ya” too much?  Reader feedback is always welcome.

THE FRONT OFFICE

They spend the entire night flipping a coin on whether or not to extend Jose Reyes’ contract while recording the results so they can be analyzed using Sabermetrics.  Heads we sign him, tails we don’t.

MR. MET

Score

Spend a couple of hours working on his T-shirt gun accuracy.  This practice usually involves attempting to shoot t-shirts through open car windows as they fly by on the Queensboro Bridge.

The night typically ends with him cruising for chicks in the bullpen car.

TOM

Trying desperately to figure out why Mr. Met is avoiding all of his texts and phone calls while repeatedly muttering to himself, “I mean, seriously, how’s a guy supposed to get his foot in the door in the mascot biz?  Damn.”

11 Responses to “What Do The Mets Do With An Unexpected Day Off?”

  1. Ben Says:

    I need to be a mascot. It seems that may be the best shot I got at picking up some chickies. The key to picking up the ladies or being a mascot is that it has to be something people can relate to, like for example, Mr. Met. All that is Man, full of badassness, carries a supercharged CO2 tank gun, and always gets the girl. Only issue is….he is in the shape of a baseball.

    What is to learn from all of this? Time to schedule plastic surgery to become a baseball and be a pimp like Mr. Met. Only drawback, I hear you can turn into a real screwball….. short awkward pause… (pitching joke, anyone?)

    Great post guys!

    • Jason Says:

      What? Dressing up in Revolutionary War garb and eating dried out crackers every weekend doesn’t bring in the ladies?

      • Ben Says:

        Let’s just say…. No. Could you Imagine me running down the hill with a Giant Baseball Head charging with a bayonet. Priceless.

  2. Tom Says:

    JASON

    Thinking to himself…

    “Oh no! I spent all this extra money for MLBTV premium just so I can spend every night listening to the best broadcast team in the history of ever!

    *Pause*

    *Sigh*

    What am I going to do if I can’t listen to yet another politically incorrect quip by sleepy Keith? What am I gonna do without Ron Darling’s insights on pitching?

    Well…….I guess I’ll just expose Tom’s secret desire to be Mr. Met and then lay on my bed next to my Carlos Beltran mural with his #15 card safely and neatly tucked under my pillow all the while listening to old clips of Gary Cohen speak of his royal center rightfielder-ness.

    Now I feel better.”

    • Jason Says:

      1. Any geek off the street can buy a Fat Head. Only REAL fans commission artists to paint murals.
      2. Murals are so in by the way, and mine is glorious.
      3. Anyone who is anyone knows I would never put my Carlos Beltran card under my pillow. That would crease it! Duh!

  3. Tom Says:

    Where do you keep this?

    http://www.amazon.com/Build-Bear-Workshop-Curly-Uniform/dp/B003MGB7OW%3FSubscriptionId%3DAKIAJKQQVHHBZOSOADWA%26tag%3Dmsportsmlb-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB003MGB7OW

  4. Ben Says:

    You should have seen him go into Freak Out Mode when I choked his teddy bear like in Animal House!

  5. To Tide You Over Before The Inevitable Sweep « Midwestropolitan Says:

    [...] rain out gave Jason ample opportunity to continue spreading unmitigated lies about my supposed desire to have a baseball for a head. Naturally I proceeded to own him in the comments section. It’s [...]

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