Losing ain’t fun. The weekend series vs. the Angels certainly did nothing to cheer us up. So, I’m going to ease the pain with a Midwestropolitan favorite, Making Fun Of Other Teams To Distract Us From Thinking About the Mets Problems.
Tonight’s victim is the Florida Marlins, as if they need one more blogger on the bitchin’ internet reminding them about their 1-18 June record. Did I mention that Florida is 1-18 in June? I think that passed futile roughly a week ago. Now it’s just damn impressive.
As a result, Marlins (former) manager Edwin Rodriguez said screw it, and quit before having finished half a season on the job. Nothing against Edwin because I’m sure he’s a great guy who just couldn’t piece it together. But when your manager quits before the All-Star break in his first season (interim doesn’t count), it’s pretty shocking.
But why continue to pick on the Marlins? Because they piss off just about every Mets fan I know. That’s why. More specifically…
- Teal. Nice color, not intimidating or classy. As my colleague said to me earlier tonight, “the teal really pisses me off.” Naturally I asked “why?” to which he replied, “Nothing says we’re named after a lame-ass fish better than the color teal.”
- Their own city knows how lame they are. If that were not the case maybe more than 10k would show up on a Friday night in a city that has fantastic weather.
- The Football stadium. Who does that anymore? I know the Marlins are moving to a new ballpark and all, but only Oakland can get away with having played for such a long time in a football stadium. They’re effing Oakland – it’s an image, baby.
- Nothing sucks more than being a die-hard fan and suffering through a division rival winning two world series as an expansion franchise. The insult is that remarkably, still nobody cares.
On to the future.
I was speaking with Jason about the Marlins vacant managerial position and he mentioned Jack McKeon as a likely candidate. I thought he was messing with me. So I did some extensive research (google) and low and behold, he wasn’t.
For those of you who don’t know, trader Jack won the 2003 World Series with the Marlins. Even more impressively, he won the 2009 World Series of Bridge. No one wants to give up the glory of Bridge master so I can understand any hesitation the old man may have.
But seriously, it’s not Trader Jack (a young man by local standards). It’s just the franchise itself. A place like Oklahoma City for instance would support a baseball team better than Miami ever could. So can we please stop giving Florida teams that no one cares about?