Midwestropolitan

June 24th, 2011

“If I am going to be traded, obviously I want the opportunity to close out games, but if it’s going to be good teams like the Yankees or the Rays, and it’s going to be for two months, I can go out there and help them out. I mean I would definitely love to stay here, but I have to be open to every possibility out there right now.”-Francisco Rodriguez

July 12, 2011

“Francisco Rodriguez is a historic closer.  He’s not going anywhere to be a setup man.  Closers don’t make good setup men.  Does anyone want an unhappy setup man in their clubhouse?”-Scott Boras

Groan.

I knew this was coming as soon as I read that K-Rod was switching over to the gentile, warm, loving, and easy to work with Scott Boras.

So why not try this angle?

ME:  Scott, I understand your position on Francisco and I respect it.  But, maybe you go at this a whole different way.

BORAS (in robotic tone of voice):  I’m listening.

ME:  Convince Francisco to accept a trade to a team looking for a setup man.

BORAS:  Laughing in robotic way with shoulders moving straight up and down slightly.

ME:  Hear me out.  Everyone is a winner this way.  Let’s face it, Francisco is in a bit of a need of an image overhaul after beating up an old man in our clubhouse.  This would show a kinder, gentler, side of Franky.  It also shows he is a team player.

As far as your concerned, it would show that you have the capability to play ball with ownership every once in a while.  This will show the other teams that you are a reasonable man and not just after the highest dollar.  It shows that you care about what is in the best interest of your client.

BORAS (in robotic tone):  This does not compute.

Well, at least I gave it the old college try.

Tags: Scott Boras may very well be a cyborg.

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