Archive for the ‘Please Help Tom’ Category

APB For Tom

April 16, 2011

Midwestropolitan has issued an All Points Bulletin for Tom. He was last seen wandering the streets of Tucson aimlessly with a glassy eyed stare.

Eyewitnesses inform us that everything seemed normal earlier today.  He was on his lap top chatting with friends while trying to research different mascot routines, when all of a sudden he got up and left without saying a word.

About five minutes after leaving his friends, 44 year old Jethro Gonzalez saw him shouting at the sky “DAMN YOU BICEPS TENDINTIS!  DAMN YOU!”  He then ran muttering under his breath, “Everything is going to be okay, everything is going to be okay.”

The last thing Tom was reading was this article from NBC about Chris Young being placed on the 15 day disabled list.

If you see Tom, contact authorities immediately.  Whatever you do, do not mention Chris Young, game recaps,  or the New York Mets.  It is best that you let trained professionals care for him.

Hang in there Tom.  We are all pulling for you.


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